Guests haven't replied to your invitation: how to remind them without awkwardness
In our data, 21% of sent wedding invitations never get an answer before the wedding, and almost half of couples have one in five invitations or more still silent. Reminding is fine: write to each guest personally, briefly and with the same link, about a week after sending and again closer to your reply-by date. In the Invito app those invitations are collected in the «Not answered» tab, and «Copy reminder» gives you a ready text with the guest's greeting and personal link.
You've sent the invitations and the answers started coming in. Then it went quiet, and the list still has people who haven't said anything.
That's normal. Silence rarely means "no". Someone opened the message on the bus, thought "I'll reply tonight", and forgot.
How many guests actually stay silent
We counted on weddings that have already taken place: 483 couples from April 2025 to October 2026, each with at least 10 sent invitations, 27,374 invitations in total. Almost all of these couples are from Ukraine.
| What we counted | Result |
|---|---|
| Invitations nobody answered before the wedding | 21% |
| Silent invitations for a typical couple (median) | 16% |
| Couples with one in five invitations or more silent | 44% |
| Couples who heard back from everyone | 13% |
So almost every couple needs reminders. The only difference is whether it's five messages or twenty.
When to remind
- A week after sending. Those who wanted to reply straight away already have. The rest just need a light nudge.
- A few days before your reply-by date. If the invitation has no such date, ask us to add one — guests' links stay the same. A specific "by 1 May" works better than "please let us know".
- Last of all, a call. For anyone who didn't answer the second message either. Usually that's only a handful of people.
Don't remind every other day. Two messages and a call are enough, and they don't feel like pressure.
What to write
A good reminder is short and personal:
- A greeting by name, the same as in the invitation.
- One sentence: you're reminding them and would love to hear back.
- The same personal link. Not the shared one, but this guest's own link, so the answer lands on their line of the list.
There's no need to explain that the venue is waiting for numbers, or to write "you're the only ones who haven't replied". The guest isn't to blame for you counting seats, and a reproach makes an answer less likely.
How to do it in the Invito app
Left: the «Not answered» tab. Right: the invitation menu with «Copy reminder».
The «Not answered» tab. In the couple's app, next to «New» and «Sent», there's a third tab. It holds only the invitations you've marked as sent that nobody has answered yet. When a guest replies, the invitation leaves the tab straight away. Once everyone has answered, the app tells you so.
«Copy reminder». Tap an invitation and choose this item in the menu. The app copies a ready text, for example:
Dear Kate!
A gentle reminder about our invitation 💌 We would love to know if you can join us:
james-sophie.invito.li/…
The text already takes care of:
- the greeting you chose for this invitation: plural, male, female, family, or your own wording;
- the formal or informal "you" in languages that have one, the same as in the invitation;
- the invitation's language. A guest with a Romanian invitation gets a Romanian reminder, even if your app is in English;
- the guest's personal link.
Children, and a plus-one who declined, are left out of the greeting. You can edit the text before sending.
You send it yourself — on WhatsApp, Telegram or wherever you already talk to that person. The service never writes to anyone on your behalf.
Who not to remind
- Guests who have already answered. The tab doesn't show them anyway.
- Guests who answered you by phone. The app only sees answers given through the invitation. Ask them to tap their answer on the link, so the summary for the venue is accurate.
- Older relatives without a smartphone. It's simpler to call them. If you're giving them a paper card, a QR code on it opens the same invitation.
In short
Silence almost never means "no". Remind twice: a week after sending and closer to the reply-by date. Keep it short, by name, with the same link. Call the few who still haven't answered after that.
Frequently asked questions
- How many guests usually don't reply?
- In our data, 21% of sent invitations got no answer at all before the wedding. For a typical couple about one invitation in six stays silent, and only one couple in eight heard back from everyone.
- When should we remind guests?
- The first time about a week after sending. The second a few days before the date you asked them to reply by. For anyone still silent after that, a phone call works best.
- What should the reminder say?
- Keep it short: a greeting by name, one sentence saying you're looking forward to their answer, and the invitation link. No reproach and no explaining why you need the numbers.
- How do we find who hasn't answered?
- The couple's app has a «Not answered» tab: invitations you marked as sent that nobody has answered yet. As soon as a guest replies, the invitation leaves the tab.
- Does the app send the reminders to guests?
- No. The app prepares the text and copies it; you send it yourself, in whatever messenger you already use with that guest. That way the reminder comes from you, not from a service.
- A guest told us their answer by phone, but the app still says «Not answered». Why?
- The app only sees answers given through the invitation. Ask the guest to tap their answer on their link — then the totals you pass to the venue will be accurate too.
Want an invitation like this?
Pick a design — we do the rest. Send us your photos and wishes, and we prepare the site, the monogram and the language versions.
